Posts tagged weddings
Posts tagged weddings
The amazing thing about life is how many complete assholes manage to find someone willing to put up with their bullshit and marry them. When I was a single person, the thing that crushed me the most when I was feeling lonely wasn’t that I thought I’d never find a spouse. It was that Donald Trump did. Three times. Ben Roethlisberger? Totally married. Michele Bachmann! Married to another asshole. Michael Vick? Just spent $300,000 on his wedding this weekend. The “Real Housewives“? They are, by definition, married. I always wonder why self-help books and matchmaker shows bother shaming perfectly nice people into becoming “marriage material” when so many complete shits of human beings didn’t change a thing about themselves and still found love.
As a proud member of the one percent of Pinterest users who didn’t already have a Dream Wedding board, I started a For Real Wedding board and began to explore the site’s “Weddings and Events” category. Within five minutes, it became apparent to me that I would need to locate a rustic barn surrounded by an endless field of wildflowers. According to Pinterest, that seems to be the only place people are getting married these days.
To me, this serenade was not an act of love, but an act of vanity. I saw a woman in the midst of a performance that had nothing to do with how she felt about the man she was walking towards and everything to do with a fantasy she’d been playing out in her head since she was a little girl–groom TBD. But self-aggrandizing brides aside, the bottom line of my repugnance was that I hate weddings. (via The Soapbox: Why I Hate Weddings, Like Really Hate Them, A Lot - The Frisky)
Ladies, maybe we’re all doing something wrong. I say that because after watching this video of this obviously batcrackers woman walking down the aisle while singing Christina Aguilera’s “The Right Man,” I wonder if we are simply not acting crazy enough (via Singing Bride Is Clearly Onto Something - The Frisky)
“First of all, I saw the gun and I mean, I almost squealed out loud. He was very ‘Maverick.’ Right as Cactus went by Ashley [Judd]‘s house he fired his gun. I’m sure she really appreciated that if she was home. She was probably under the bed!” –Wynonna Judd tells Us Weekly about her recent Tennessee wedding to Cactus Moser, which gave a whole new meaning to the term “shotgun wedding.”