I’m not the most devout Jew. Obviously, if I were, I’d be sitting in temple right now listening to the rabbi blow a shofar until I was half-deaf. But instead, I’m here reflecting on what I’ll need to ask forgiveness for. I figure, at least attempting to self-reflect, whether I do it in a house of worship or not, is enough to keep me cool with God. Or at least to keep me cool with myself, which I personally find more important.

Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year, is a supposed to be a day of judgement, where you stand before God and yourself and allow an honest assessment of how you’ve behaved in the previous year to take place. From now until Yom Kippur (which falls about 10 days after Rosh Hashanah), all Jews are meant to engage in a process of repentance for the sins of the previous year. That’s just a little light Judaism lesson for you. My thought is that you don’t need to be Jewish, or a religious Jew, or believe in the concept of sin (I don’t), to take some time to reflect on your year. After the jump, what I’m atoning for.

What’s in a nose? A Miami plastic surgeon doesn’t want a big schnoz to get in the way of true love, so he’s decided to offer members of his local Orthodox Jewish community free or greatly reduced nose jobs in order to increase their chances at finding a mate.

Dr. Michael Salzhauer is an Orthodox Jew, and a father of five, so he feels it’s perfectly reasonable and respectable to offer the service to bad-nose-having members of his community. But others say it’s rather tacky and controversial.

Big noses in the Jewish world are nothing new (um, hello!). So it stands to reason that an Orthodox Jew seeking to marry another Orthodox Jew would be well familiar with big proboscises.