Posts tagged engagement
“So, Britney Spears is no longer engaged to that dude she was engaged to, and obviously the only logical response is the one People chose, which is to lament the end of Britney’s “fairy tale.” Because all weddings are fairy tales, and literally any man a woman can be engaged to has got to be Prince Charming?
I bet Britney Spears is really sad that she’s not getting married, but I’m also not going to assume that she might not also be a little bit relieved. It sounds like that guy was not a particularly good match for her. Sounds like they made the right decision here. What’s sadder than a broken engagement? A divorce. What’s sadder than a divorce? Staying in a bad marriage until you die.”
Hitched: I’m A Married Motherf**ker! - The Frisky
Last night, my husband (!) Patrick and I were having Hawaiian martinis at Roy’s Waikoloa Bar & Grill (which is to Hawaii the way Chili’s is to Texas) when he asked me, Was it all worth it? Was all the stress and the arguing and the pressure worth it, to have a wedding instead of sneaking down to the courthouse or eloping to Las Vegas?
I had my answer ready, because I’d been thinking on it since we drove back to our hotel in a pick-up truck covered in dicks on Saturday night. My answer was: yes. All of the bullshit and the pressure and the stress was completely worth the experience of being married in front of all of our closest family and friends.
I felt strong and beautiful and happy and supported, in that pick-up truck covered in dicks. I felt blissed and blessed, in that pick-up truck covered in dicks. I felt like the exact thing that I’d wanted to happen had happened. The whole reason I’d consented to a capital-W Wedding in the first place was that I knew I needed other people to affirmatively answer the question, “Hey! Did you guys hear that?” about the fact that I’d met a man I loved and that I wanted to share my life with. I told myself I would do a Wedding because doing a Wedding would make my commitment to Patrick and our existence as “Patrick and Andrea” in the world more solidified and more real. And that shit actually happened, ya’ll.
10 Perfectly Good Reasons To Postpone A Wedding - The Frisky
“Hanging out with people who don’t care about your wedding is a wonderful thing. Maybe for you that’s parking it at the bar and shooting the shit with your favorite bartender. Or making sure not to miss your rec-league softball game. When I went and got a manicure this week, I made sure not to wear my engagement ring because holy God, I did not even want “weddings” to be anywhere near a point of conversation while the nice lady drilled away at my cuticles.
Whoever they are, people who don’t want to see 10 photos of your dress or hear about your super-clever guestbook idea may be the best kind of people to spend time with right now. I’m about to spend an entire weekend with people who love and adore me and who want the best for me and because of that, they want me to have the happiest wedding ever. Which is wonderful. But also exhausting. So it’s nice to not have to perform “bride” for a few moments.”
“Bachelorette parties are spin-offs, obviously, of bachelor parties, which began, hundreds of years ago, as a dinner the bridegroom threw for his buddies before the wedding. In the spirit of gender equality, bachelorette parties were borne of the sexual revolution of the 1960s. All well and good! More gender equality! Yet somehow, they’ve turned, stereotypically speaking, into debaucherous nights of embarrassment and ill-fated frivolity. I dreaded that for myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all about frivolity. And debauchery. What I’m not all about is the pressure to participate in something epic that would be tied into some kind of statement about who I am as a woman and, soon, a wife. I don’t need a “last chance” at fun, because I don’t expect that being married will somehow strip me of my ability to enjoy myself.
April 20th, 2012 is not the last day of freedom I’ll ever have. It’s not the last time a friend can call me and say “Hey, I’ve had a shit day, can we get some beers”? It’s not the last time I’ll ever be fun. It’s just the day before my wedding.”
Hitched: Our Wedding Venue Fell Through 20 Days Before Our Wedding - The Frisky
“Of course we put a trampoline on our wedding registry. Why not put a trampoline on your wedding registry, if you have the choice between not putting a trampoline on your wedding registry and putting a trampoline on your wedding registry?
I certainly never expected anyone to buy it for us. The thing is like $400. That is a ridiculous amount of money for a wedding present. [Jessica’s Note: Someone must not have read our post about Kim Kardashian’s wedding registry.] But our wedding party are a sneaky bunch, and they split the cost among them because they are wonderful and creative people who, and I think this idea must not have completely escaped them, are about to have friends who own a huge trampoline. I was especially surprised by their amazing generosity because I’ve never thought wedding party members should feel obligated to buy wedding presents. I’ve also never thought people who have to travel to attend a wedding should feel obligated to buy wedding presents. Many members of our wedding party are both in the wedding (obviously) and flying in from out of state. That shit is expensive, you guys. Your presence is the gift, right? The second emotion I had, after craaaaazy exxxciiitteeeddd exclamation points, hooray, was kind of embarrassed. Because I am 28-year-old woman who just got a trampoline for a wedding present. Clearly I’m not taking this marriage thing seriously. Clearly I should focus my attention on the nice sheets Patrick’s aunt bought us. Clearly I should begin making tiny cakes in the lovely Le Creuset cocottes that arrived in the mail last week. Like grown-ass wives do. But fuck it, you guys, I am the most excited about that trampoline.”
“The State of Texas, beautiful and God-blessed land led by the white conservative men Jesus always intended it to be led by, rewards people who go to premarital counseling. The prize? You get to waive your license fee and don’t have a three-day waiting period between obtaining the license and getting married.
I discovered this fun new law while checking out marriage licenses generally, and learned that as of March 1, 2011, Texans getting married can either pay an increased fee for a license or get their asses to a counselor for an eight-hour course that will allow them to waive it.The program is called, barfily enough, Twogether in Texas. I figured hey, if we can waive the fee and get counseling, that might be kind of cool. Of course, it’ll have to be free counseling because otherwise, there’s no money saved in waiving the fee. And we’re sure not paying a stranger hundreds of dollars to tell us we love each other and agree on major life issues like children (not for us, thanks), money (let’s make a reasonable amount of it and share it with each other) and religion (we’ll pass). Duh. That’s why we’re getting married.”
The thing that makes a marriage legitimate is the familial, communal, societal and institutional recognition of the union on the first day and every day after that — not the one-time party that kicks it off. But the Wedding Industrial Complex deftly obscures that. As a middle-class person, I had not thought seriously about my situation and its relationship to marriage and privilege. I have, over the last several months, thought extensively about gender and its relationship to marriage as anyone who’s been reading my Hitched columns can tell. But class? Race? I have not seriously and thoughtfully been considering about how privileged I am in those ways and what that means for one of the most important life decisions I’ll ever make.
