Posts tagged advice
Fake Love Someone Until You Actually Do
Have you ever done this?
Here are five life lessons I learned from sea turtles…
1. Slow down. The phrase “Slow and steady wins the race” is usually associated with land-dwelling tortoises, but trust me, sea turtles aren’t in any hurry either, and watching them move smoothly through the water is a beautiful reminder to slow down a bit and take things in. We get so focused on the outcome of our actions, it’s easy to ignore the process–let’s take a cue from the turtles and stop constantly rushing around.
The really crappy thing about being ghosted or suddenly dumped or inexplicably ditched by a guy you were dating is that it leaves the door open for him to contact you in the future. In the meantime, you are forced to fill in the blanks about what went wrong and wonder if you’ll ever find out. After more than 15 years on the dating circuit, I am going to share a nugget with you: You will almost always hear from him again, he who made a not-so-graceful exit from your life. And it will be when you least expect it.
Dating Don’ts: Why You Should Be Wary Of His Out-Of The-Blue Communication - The Frisky
His confession started with details about how long he’d been attracted to me, dirty thoughts he’d had about me and ended with him grabbing my face and trying to kiss me. All I could think about was his wife, a dear friend, and what it would mean for our friendship. In the end, it ruined it. Because when a married man hits on one of his wife’s friends, it is an altogether horrid situation. Should you ever find yourself with this problem, here are some suggestions for how to deal with it with as much dignity as possible. (via How To Deal When Your Friend’s Husband Hits On You - The Frisky)
This summer, my younger brother is getting married. (I would like, before going any further with this subject, to state in no uncertain terms that I very much like the young lass he’s chosen for his bride.) When he got engaged, I immediately started working on my plan for what I’d do if I were still single when his big day came; as it happens, the Single Older Sister at the Younger Sibling’s Wedding is a rather frequent occurrenc
5 Methods For Surviving Your Younger Sibling’s Wedding When You’re Single - The Frisky
In my mid-twenties, I came out as a lesbian. But the hardest part wasn’t even coming out: it was realizing my wedding would be different and therefore I was different. It took me a few years to come to terms with the fact that my wedding wouldn’t have a groom or any of the other stuff that goes along with heterosexual weddings.
I’m going to say something as a feminist ladyblogger that I suspect I’m not supposed to say: Why You’re Not Married … Yet: The Straight Talk You Need To Get The Relationship You Deserve, by Tracy McMillan, actually isn’t a terrible book.
Oh, it has some problematic aspects — and I’ll get to those. But generally what’s wrong with books like Why You’re Not Married … Yet or 2009′s Marry Him! The Case For Settling For Mr. Good Enough, by Lori Gottlieb, isn’t the actual content. I’ve read a decent number of self-help books, both for professional reasons (to write about them on The Frisky) and for personal reasons (to find out why am I such an idiot when it comes to boys), and I even read that godawful Steve Harvey book Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man because my surrogate mother gave it to me. Why You’re Not Married … Yet is getting bopped everywhere from Jezebel to The Good Men Project, who titled their piece “Fuck Off Tracy McMillan.” Except I’ve actually read the book and what’s more, I loved it and found it extremely useful. What’s wrong with Why You’re Not Married … Yet isn’t the dating advice — it’s how that dating advice is only marketed towards women.
Whether you believe in the Man Jesus or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, it is a cruel supreme being, indeed, who would create women to be destined for lovey-dovey hearts-and-rainbows partnership, and create ramblin’ men only to burp and drink beer and stick their penises in the closest convenient hole.
Reality is, of course, more nuanced than that—but don’t tell the Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus crowd, because human nuance isn’t their strong suit. Why anyone would think it makes sense for women to “naturally” desire only one type of romantic relationship and to have men “naturally” desire the exact opposite of that (see: the Reluctant Groom), I don’t know.
