So, the other day I was talking with a dude friend of mine who’s going through a breakup. He and I dated a zillion years ago, and remained good buddies, and we often go to one another when we’re going through current relationship traumas. Breakups are universally terrible, whether you’re a girl, a dude, or something in between. But if my dude friend — and the anonymous crap dude blogger over at XOJane – are any proof, we’re given different messages about how to process our heartbreak. Take the crap dude XOJane blogger, for instance, whose friends seem to be telling him that the best way to get over his ex is to bang a zillion anonymous girls. In sum, the most ideal way to heal your heart is to treat someone else’s like crap. We don’t really abide by that.

And we think it’s about time that we help our boy friends out by offering our own tips and tricks for getting over a breakup. Remember — being a jerk begets more jerkish behavior in the world. And nobody wants that.