“Of course we put a trampoline on our wedding registry. Why not put a trampoline on your wedding registry, if you have the choice between not putting a trampoline on your wedding registry and putting a trampoline on your wedding registry?
I certainly never expected anyone to buy it for us. The thing is like $400. That is a ridiculous amount of money for a wedding present. [Jessica’s Note: Someone must not have read our post about Kim Kardashian’s wedding registry.] But our wedding party are a sneaky bunch, and they split the cost among them because they are wonderful and creative people who, and I think this idea must not have completely escaped them, are about to have friends who own a huge trampoline. I was especially surprised by their amazing generosity because I’ve never thought wedding party members should feel obligated to buy wedding presents. I’ve also never thought people who have to travel to attend a wedding should feel obligated to buy wedding presents. Many members of our wedding party are both in the wedding (obviously) and flying in from out of state. That shit is expensive, you guys. Your presence is the gift, right? The second emotion I had, after craaaaazy exxxciiitteeeddd exclamation points, hooray, was kind of embarrassed. Because I am 28-year-old woman who just got a trampoline for a wedding present. Clearly I’m not taking this marriage thing seriously. Clearly I should focus my attention on the nice sheets Patrick’s aunt bought us. Clearly I should begin making tiny cakes in the lovely Le Creuset cocottes that arrived in the mail last week. Like grown-ass wives do. But fuck it, you guys, I am the most excited about that trampoline.”