(Source: popculturebrain)

surisburnbook:

I know it’s not fair, but when your mother becomes an overnight A-lister, you’ve got to step up your game, Vivian Falcone.

Look, I loved Bridesmaids as much as the next girl, but I don’t have the same Melissa McCarthy fever as the rest of America. (No one beats Amy Poehler for an Emmy with a…

Despite what you might assume about a glamourous ladyblog editor such as myself, I do not live a particularly rock star lifestyle. Sure, Richard Simmons, a fellow “Today Show” guest (!!!) noted that I was pretty and must be intimidating to men and, yes, sometimes I get sent free makeup to try, but my lifestyle out of the office is a lot closer to “Nell” (you know, the Jodie Foster movie?) than “Sex and the City.” I spend a lot of time shut in at home, away from interaction with my fellow humans, just nesting, cooking kale, talking to my dog about boys, and taking baths.

Which brings me to the point of this post: I may have the social life of a practically feral woman isolated in the wild, but I do know how to party like a rock star in one area — bathing!

I take, like, four baths a week on top of my usual (almost) daily showers. I bathe not to clean myself of the filth picked up in the blogosphere, but to relax. I take kicking back in the tub very seriously. I do not fuck around during bath time. Here are my tips for bathing like a rock star.

As mostly heterosexual ladies, we’ve had to fear/admire Fleshlight from afar. The silicone vagina slightly horrified us, especially the ones modeled after adult film actresses. Then again, if we’re here wishing upon a star that vibrators rain from the sky, why shouldn’t men enjoy sex toys, too? It’s only fair.